Who Do You Think You Are?

Who Do You Think You Are?


BR Chitwood


“Who do you think you are?”

“What? Who is speaking?”

“You are, Weirdo! You’re talking to yourself.”

“Hmm! Strange! That’s never happened before…”

“Sure, it has, almost daily, in fact.”

“Whoa! Who the hell are you…and, where are you?”

“In your brain, Idiot!”

“Which side?”

“Which side? Which side? What a dumb-ass question… your frontal lobe.”

“Oh, My God! I’m going nuts!”

“Going? You been working on this for some time, dip-shit!”

“Hey, keep it clean!”

“You’re doing the talking, dip-shit!”

“So, I’m going crazy! The ‘Frontal Lobe’ of my brain is talking to me…so, you eavesdrop on everything I think or say. Is that your function? There’s a ‘left’ and a ‘right’ lobe, right? So, what’s your job ‘Lobe-Meister’?”

“Why did I get stuck in your brain? You are a dummy…but, okay, I’m a functionary part of your brain: the ‘left side’ of the lobe controls the right commands; the ‘right side’ controls the left… You’ve never done this before! Why, now? This chat business”?

“’Never done this before’? Hey, Lobe-Meister, this is as new for me as it is for you. It’s not like I requested this meeting…”

“Okay, okay, something is up, and I have to check it out. Are you hurting anywhere?”

“There is a light quaking sound… No pain. Otherwise, I’m sitting here thinking I’m crazy!”

“Don’t take that off the table as a possibility, because I’ve never had this happen before… I will do my ‘due diligence’ and get back to you. For now, go to bed and sleep for hours.”

“Before you go, what’s the difference between the ‘mind’ and the ‘brain’?”

“Huge subject, pardner… The mind can influence the brain, have a ‘mental force’ – check out ‘Neuro Plasticity and The Power of Mental Force’.”

“That’s it? You are leaving me with that? One last thing: Am I going to be hearing from you on a frequent timeline? Do I have a ‘say’ in the matter? If not, please, don’t come at me when I’m making love or out on a date…”

“Sorry, I cannot make any promises…maybe your thought processes will be enough! Bye.”

“Meant to tell you this earlier: your voice sounds really prissy-like…does God include you with every birth?”

“No comment! I said, ‘Good-bye’!”



BR Chitwood – May 25, 2022


All 20 of my books with synopses, 500 blog posts, short stories, Flash Fiction, Poetry, and Songs can be found at:



Stuck in the Mud – Maybe

“Charity and Good Will to all…”

Stuck in A Rut – Maybe!

BR Chitwood


Occasionally, it appears to me that I spend an inordinate amount of time on carping about this and/or that. Perhaps, that is a commonality with those of us who are aging. Most of my bitching and moaning is directed toward political observations, my perceived notions about the directions our leaders take us…

Today, I’m putting away my amateur political disclaimers and dwelling on the inherent goodness and kindness of the anonymous, humble and quiet people in life who do their good deeds without seeking gratification and hero worship. Hopefully, this poetic utterance conveys my feelings:

Simple Wisdom

Their faces wear humble smiles

As they place their market food

In shopping baskets along the aisles

Offering assistance to those in need.

These people of simple wisdom

Follow a Deity’s message of hope

Living placidly with abiding Faith in

Charity and good will to all.

As deeds of evil project among them

They tearfully pray for love and peace

Giving freely from grieving hearts

Dispelling naysayers and angry mobs.

Turbulent times and unrest bring

Hoodlums and Saints together, each

Sharply battling the other while a

Fragile Republic awaits its future.

Only the Deity can know the ending…

If the majesty of our earth’s creation

Carries bewilderment for so many –

Please look out on your World’s Wonders!

BR Chitwood – October 18, 2021


My Website/Blog – 20 Books (With Synopses) Written & 400 Posts:




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