“Ma, Pa wants to seeya down at the barn…”
“Ma, didn’t ya heah me? Pa wants to seeya down at the barn?”
“Ma, stop staring off in the distance thar, Ma… Doggone it, Ma, stop churning Old Bessie’s milk and makin yur butter… Pa wants to seeya down at the barn. Pa sent me to tellya, Ma.”
“Ma, you alright? You scuring me, Ma! You in one a’them trances?”
“Homer, why yu tuchin my knee? Yu scured me, boy. I was athinkin ’bout Pa, when he was younger and we wur coortin. Ah, he was sum kinda hansum, Homer… Well, whatta ya want, Homer?”
“I tolya three-four times already, Ma. Pa wants you down at the barn.”
“Well, why is he wantun me, Homer?”
“I dunno, Ma, but that fool mule, ‘Fred’, just stepped on Pa’s foot and Pa’s setting rite in the middle of a pile of ‘Fred’s’ wastings.”
“My Lordie be! You telling me your Pa fell into ‘Fred’s’ number two?”
“That’s what I’m tellinya, Ma, and Pa ain’t too happy ’bout it, I can tellya that! He’s madder than a fit of hornets.”
“Well, Homer, you go tell yur Pa to just set easy – tee hee – and I’ll be thar as soon as this churning’s done. I’ll bring water and clean ‘im up. Git along now.”
“But, Ma, Pa needs ya noaw!”
“Hush, now, Homer, don’t yu be sassin me. Git on, now, and tell yur Pa I’m on my way reel soon. Go on noaw, I’m almost finished with this here churnin!”
Ma broke out laffing as Homer broke out running back to the barn.
Billy Ray Chitwood – For Linda’s SoSC Saturday – December 1, 2018
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