My Aching Back
“Really? A ‘bitch and moan’ post?”
“Well, yeah, I guess one could call it that.”
“Tell me, Roscoe, do you think your followers really care that you have an ‘aching back’?”
“Are you playing my ‘alter ego’, Sidney?”
“Yeah, I am. Think about it, Roscoe, the few people – maybe – you’ve never met are going to read about a guy crying about his aches and pains. You will put them off, man! People want to read an interesting ‘flash fiction’ piece, short story, something that will be positive and uplifting, not about a hypochondriac who moans and groans about his ailments. People want entertainment, a murder mystery and/or suspenseful romance. Give them what they want, and you build your ’brand’.”
“Well, ‘alter ego’, you’ve given me ‘food for thought’ – don’t you just love ‘clichés’, Sidney?”
“No, I don’t. Clichés are dull and tiresome. At the end of the day, you should avoid them at all costs.”
“You just used a cliché, Roscoe.”
“How do you figure?”
“You said, ‘at all costs’ – that, my friend, is a cliché. In fact, you’ve used other clichés in these few moments we’ve talked. Earlier, you said, ‘moans and groans’. You said, ‘give them what they want’. Those are clichés, buddy-boy. Oh, and, you said, ‘at the end of the day’, another cliché.”
“Yeah, but it’s just the two of us talking here. There’s a difference, ‘buddy-boy’.”
“Did your Mama have any that lived, Sidney?”
“Oh, that’s vicious, and, not too original, Roscoe.”
“You said you were just ‘stopping by for a second’. Really, Sidney, don’t you have other places to go? I would like to finish my post.”
“Are you leaving those clichés in the post, Roscoe?”
“Yep, sure am. Oh, one last cliché, Sidney, ‘don’t let the door hit you in the ass’ on the way out.”
“That’s uncalled for, Roscoe.”
“You asked for it, Sidney.”
“Stay out of the ‘Cliché Pantry’, Roscoe.”
“Leave, Sidney, and take your clichés to the grave.”
“Sticks and stones…”
“Hasta La Vista, Baby.”
“Up yours, Red Raider.”
“Don’t let the door hit you in the ass, Sidney.”
“You already said that.”
“Happy days.” Door closes.
“That settles that.”
Billy Ray Chitwood – August 27, 2019
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