You Are Your Moods

You Are Your Moods

BR Chitwood

You are your moods…just sharing some of mine…

My mother was a gentle, generous, and kind woman from a large loving family of four boys and four girls, the matriarch of the brood fervently involved in her Protestant Faith. The father was a quiet, gentle, corpulent man, a railroad foreman for the Louisville and Nashville Railroad Company, a most pleasant person who seldom interfered with the demands of his pious wife who each day offered a loud, long, tearful, prayer to her Father in Heaven, with all present kneeling for her long wailing wishes for blessings and forgiveness of sins committed by her and her brood. Despite the parental toughness of her ways and the seriousness of her moods, she was a kind and gentle person.

Two of the four boys would serve their country in World War Two, one ferrying our brave warriors to the shore at Omaha Beach. The youngest of the brothers was murdered as he was closing down his ‘Filling Station’ late at night in Knoxville, Tennessee. Stanley was his name and a most wonderful Uncle. Uncle Stanley saw me through some difficult times in my early life. I loved this good man and think of him often through all these years.

Uncle Stanley and my mother were so much alike, both holy of heart, soul, and honorable in their daily living…

My Mom was a boarding house cook and a Bell Telephone Operator/Supervisor. Because of economic conditions at the time my mother had to rely on the state of Tennessee and my grandparents for boarding and financial help – it was a necessary procedure for many families at the time.

My most memorable years came when my mother brought my sister and me to live in a lovely home across from a beautiful college where I played tennis with some of the students and attended elementary school. Times got better for our small family. My sister blossomed early and wanted all that went with a pretty face and desirable body…problems, yes, but the family worked through it.

Much of my life was molded from those early days, still given to thoughts of a past with too little good and a lot of ugliness. I served my country, got through college, taught writing to high school seniors, did some acting, commercials and film, married a few times, sired three beautiful kids who constantly amaze me with their goodness, settled at last with a lovely lady who is all a man could possibly want.

Oh, and I have written twenty books, many based on true crimes, mystery and romance, a couple of memoirs, some 375 blog posts, many ‘flash fiction’ pieces, short stories, and poetry.

Okay, had this quiet afternoon of reflection, felt like writing some of it down, and I feel better…and, I just felt like sharing it with people who might be reading my posts.

All of my books are on: https://brchitwood.com

Hope you can read some of my books…and perhaps leave an Amazon review if so inclined…

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THE POWER MERCHANTS author

Read the ‘PROLOGUE’ and ‘CHAPTER ONE’ of “The Power Merchants”

by BR Chitwood

The Power Merchants

A Novel by:

BR Chitwood

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Prologue

She was a dazzling lady with long platinum hair in a perfect rhythmic bounce on her shoulders, without a stray maverick wisp out of place. Her cameo face, a near gemstone carved by a Master, her joyous blue eyes twinkling as she walked toward me. Her tanned body was covered by a soft mauve fabric that possessively clung to every curve of her body with every magical step she took. She could have been a Hollywood starlet made up beautifully for her role in an epic movie, portraying a ‘golden girl’ of Hollywood’s early days.

Watching her approach, I stole a glance over each of my shoulders to see if she was making those erogenous steps for me or someone behind me.

No one behind me, just a wall I forgot was there. OMG, she’s walking to me.

With a coquettish smile of full lips made up of a soft and non-glaring shade of red matching her dress, she took loveliness to a completely new standard. She came to a stop at my high table and stools. All eyes in the posh Princess VP Lounge were upon her as she strode elegantly toward me.

She spoke and her voice matched all the rest of her, like mellow harp music in a grand arbor of lilacs and roses.

“You are Bradley Benedict and you match perfectly the description given of the gentleman with whom I was asked to keep company this evening – in a ‘nice way’, of course.” She gave me another erogenous move that I suspected no other woman could ever duplicate…

I attempted a response, but she was not through with her introduction…

“Do you mind terribly, Bradley, if we go to the lower tables and cushiony chairs in the Princess Dinner Lounge? It is more comfortable, and the music is so soft and pleasant there.”

“I don’t suppose…” The lounge music began its long session, and she was unable to hear me above the rumble of drums, bass, guitar, and horn.

I stood, smiled, loudly told the waiter to transfer my tab to the restaurant lounge, and the lovely lady and I strolled slowly the short distance to the other, more sedate, lounge.

The Princess Lounge was a large intimate room clothed in a magical lighting that seemed to sweep through the room with unobtrusive and delicate alternating shades of pleasing colors – if the shades were colors at all, but only subtle shifts at certain locations of the room. I could never tire of this lounge were I to have dinner with a special someone like the gorgeous lady who just joined me. The room was elegant in its leather comfort and sundry accouterments – fresh flowers, their scents an intoxicating pleasure in breathing, sculptures of high quality, notable portraits of prominent dignitaries on the golden-hued walls. The Princess Dinner Lounge was the epitome of consummate beauty, luxury and refinement.

In this truly magnificent environment, our drinks ordered, I spoke: “This is quite sudden, but, then, how could I not accept such an offer from one so beautiful? You have me awkwardly off-balance, lovely lady. You know my name. I don’t know yours.”

“Christie Conway… Oh, Bradley, this lounge takes my breath away in its beauty…”

She paused, about to say something else, so I asked: “Yes, it is a magnificent room, and I’m delighted you like it. May I ask: to whom do I owe for such lovely company this evening? I can hardly wait for the answer to that question.”

With a slight shift in her soft lounge chair and a subtle smile that invited me to end all protocols, to rise from my own comfortable chair, to take a stride to her side, to lean and kiss those luscious lips, she said, “I’m sorry, Bradley, I’m sworn to secrecy.”

When I recovered from that impulsive moment, I responded. “So, are you with an agency that caters to requests like, ‘keeping company’ with men who might be in the throes of divorce, middle-age, or, senility?”

“You know, it just occurred to me, we have names that form ‘BB’ and ‘CC’. Can we use those initials tonight?” Ah, she was changing the subject.

“And, pretty Miss, you didn’t answer my question. Are you with an agency, CC?”

“No, BB. I’m an unworking actress.”

“Here in Phoenix? Wait, wait… I’ve seen you on TV commercials. Did you act in California on one of the daily ‘soaps’?”

“Yes…and, yes.”

“Okay, tell me, what is this all about? Is someone playing a colossal joke on me?”

“I don’t know about that, BB. I was just paid to give you company at dinner and to give you an envelope at my departure.”

CC reached into her purse and pulled out a small manila envelope.

I reached for the envelope, and she pulled it out of my reach and said: “I was told to give it to you upon my leaving tonight, so, if you want to skip buying me dinner I’ll give the envelope to you now, and leave.” She smiled sweetly.

“Would you like to leave now, CC?”

“No. I find you a handsome man, easy to talk to. I think we would have a fun evening, again, in a ‘nice way’.”

“I’m flattered. Thank you… Can you tell me anything about the person or persons who asked you to be here tonight? You are beautiful, and I would love to buy you dinner and spend the evening with you – in a ‘nice way’.” I smiled but I was sure the smile and eyebrow lift conveyed no gallantry at all.

“I was only told by the agency to be here tonight…the agency gets a percentage of the money. I can only say that I would not expect my agency to send me out for anything not lawful.”

Soft romantic music began to flow through the hidden speakers, audible enough to enhance and please any mode of conversation.

We talked, had dinner, and, at our parting in the parking lot we instinctively kissed – not a kiss of lovers but with perhaps a hint of that ‘goal’ in mind. She handed me the envelope and walked away to her car, stopping once to look back and give me a wave… That had to mean something… Yeah, she was making sure you weren’t following her.

I absently put the envelope in my sport coat inside pocket and went to my car.

My mind berated me with thoughts…

You dummy. No phone number. No address. You’re daft… I tried, but she changed the subject. You should have tried again. You’re some ‘Romeo’…

Chapter One

The bikini-clad blonde on the large billboard looked down on me with a smile that said she loved me, and some uncontrollable part of me had the gall to convince my cock to get alert for action. That, as a full-body numbing buzz came and filled my total awareness with razor-sharp pains in all parts of my disabled anatomy.

First, though, I needed to remember why the hell I was lying in this ditch some fifty yards from what looked like a state highway. The area was too isolated to be a major road. At this point I saw no traffic at all.

Uh-oh, another sharp jolt just sparked my brain, letting me know where the pain was coming from. Just when I figured the pain was coming from the right side of my body and figured it was time for me to move, the left side of my head near the eye urgently warned me, ‘do not move quite yet’.

I closed my eyes tightly as though that might offer some sanity to the moment, but it only added to the pain. After softly touching my rib cage, carefully moving my feet and hands, after touching a spot above my left forehead, I felt the large wide lump with a long gaping valley running along my forehead, I let out a sharp cry when I touched bone some a few centimeters down, a half-inch above the eyebrow. The exquisite pain threw me back, slamming my head into a boulder I didn’t know was there, and one more yell came. With the yell came more pain, and some part of the engine inside me was fit enough to allow me some self-pity.

Self-Pity?

How did I get to self-pity when I did not even know my name? For whatever the stupidity, that thought had a consoling effect.

I lay there, not moving because both sides of my body were denying that simple task. So, I lay there, thinking… How the hell did I get here? That thought was swallowed up with the previous jarring truth… I did not know who and what to call me. I did not know me.

Oh, my God!

The panic now lodged there in my crowded brain made me try again to get up out of the ditch, but I only fell back to my earthen bed of the moment – dusty earth, gravel, and the afore-mentioned boulder.

Some knowledge bade me take long deep breaths and not try to figure it all out. I guess some ruling gene from the cranial pool was trying to settle me down with the fact that my mind and body was going through a temporary shut-down, and, again, how do I get ‘there’ when I don’t even know my name and how and why fate put me here?

I lay there, taking deep breaths until sharp stabbing ouches hit me. I tried to calm my thinking. All events have reasons, good and bad. It would come to me…’Just relax’ I kept telling myself.

Lying still there, the pain was not so bad, and the bikini-blonde beauty was still trying to get me erected.

Smiling lamely and with pain at my silly thoughts I kept my gaze on the billboard.

At some point, I felt like I was going to pass out, a swooning sensation, not pain so much.

That’s when I heard movement among the dirt and gravel.

The thoughts came hard and fast. What can I do? I can hardly move.

Then I screamed at what I saw within ten feet of me.

It was a Mojave Rattlesnake.

Once again, how the deuce would I know about Mojave rattlesnakes when I don’t even know my name? Then, another weird thought hit me, a movie I saw – Harrison Ford in Temple of Doom. Indiana Jones hated snakes, and he ran like hell from them…

That thought came at me from Hell’s murky furnace, and, hating snakes with good movie company, I rushed on ‘auto-pilot’ to get up, and the excruciating pain took me back to sudden darkness on my earthen bed of dirt and gravel.

Thoughts can be obnoxious – my last bit of thinking as the pain took me again to the nether world of unconsciousness: at least I won’t see the wiggly bastard finish me off.

#

Complete your reading of this novel at Amazon buy site:

NEW RELEASE – 2021

“The Power Merchants”

A Novel for the Time in which we are Living AND ‘A beautiful Love Story to shade some of our Realities…

Years of the Covid-19 Pandemic!

A man is presumed dead., left in a ditch by the side of a State Road near Scottsdale, Arizona, badly beaten, with two bullets in his body…

This scenario begins THE POWER MERCHANTS, a book that explores political intrigue and malfeasance at the highest levels of our Federal Government, and the sexual appetites of a billionaire who seduces under-age prepubescent girls for his evil pleasure and to curry favor with some highly placed politicians…

“The Power Merchants” is also a beautiful love story that ‘Romance genre’ readers will find pleasure in watching how it all unfolds…

Plus, there is actual truth in this fictional narrative that encompasses some of the events shaping our world today, certainly not the least of which is the Corona Virus Pandemic and the new policies set in place to fight this juggernaut, some people feel are corrupting our civil liberties…

This is a fast-paced novel that deals with the issues of today, the economic spillage from the pandemic that is affecting every major country in the world…

This novel will keep your interest as you follow the good and bad characters that are on display in “The Power Merchants” – yes, it’s fiction but it smacks of so much truth…your enjoyment is guaranteed in reading this finely crafted literature…

Just saying…

End of Sample

You can purchase this book on AMAZON:

Amazon Universal BUYSITE:

mybook.to/ThePowerMerchants

Love is All

Love Is All

by

BR Chitwood

*

Joan Walsh Anglund wrote the lines:

“Love comes quietly…

But you know when it’s there

Because

Suddenly…

You are not alone anymore…and there

Is no sadness in you.”

*

From me to Joan Walsh Anglund

comes a humble, ‘Thank you’…

I’ve known that ecstasy a few times,

Foolishly, at times, I stole away from Love –

A mis-guided fool I was…

The Ache remains forever in my heart.

There seems always one

That remains in the Heart –

The one you abandoned because of space and time!

*

BR Chitwood – February 1, 2022

https://brchitwood.com

Mistakes, Sins, and Other Lies

Fun Scribbles!

Mistakes, Sins, and Other Lies

BR Chitwood

*

Where be the truths of all life’s ventures?

Through all the years in trespassing history

Are the arcane mutterings of fools and geniuses…

It is we who must find the true and false meanings

Of the lives we are living, the awkward moves we make,

The effects of the words we say and the steps we take…

It is we who are the final arbiters of our living.

It is we who determine the good and the bad moves we make,

The decisions, good and bad, that determine our ultimate fates.

*

We read our Bible and books of ‘Ancient philosophers’.

We study in classrooms, listen to teachers, respected professors

Whom we expect to know the answers to all our questions or

Will refer us to others who might possess knowledge we want.

We choose our paths to wander and discover, only to question

Our wisdom of the choice. So many will find satisfaction with

The direction they’ve taken and will stay the course to success

And a chosen career that makes them happy, feeling they have

Arrived at their special place of comfort and success.

*

Others who have not the positive experiences, those who wander in

And out of choices because of low mental acuity and/or a lack of

Ambition, curiosity, and drive…it is from this aggregate that most of

Society’s problems arise, not to say problems do not come from the

Former…or, from our elite group of Politicians, all seemingly coming

From the field of Law and order, the Military – and, a few those from

The business ranks find politics to their liking. For the most part, this

Latter group does wish to perform their duties honestly for the good of

Their particular constituencies and/or for noble reasons.

*

Then, there is Joe Biden!

Consider him, unwise and wobbly.

*

Then, there is EYE!

A ‘Romantic’ all my life – a member of a group who should ‘rule the world’… Or, NOT!

Me!

*

These idling words by: BR Chitwood

*

https://brchitwood.com (Website/Blog/Books)

https://Twitter.com @brchitwood)

https://facebook.com/billyray.chitwood

https://linkedin.com/brchitwood

What’s It All About?

‘What’s It All About’?

BR Chitwood

*

A good title for a song and an excellent title with which to blow your mind when you spend days and sleepless nights pounded with the news of our homicides, our robberies, our Wall Street accounts, our meager bank funds, our Cities’ daily decay with riots in the streets, and a state’s malfunctioning government are where so often its leaders find malfeasance and corruption  their easy games to play, our kids left to form their own games to play, boy/girl body explorations, and ‘toughies’ bullying the timid and weak among them, no adult supervising and/or the ‘Sitter’ busy with her own pleasures.

Sure, I know you’ve read about these sordid things before. The newspaper, radio, and television reports are rather common. I, too, was once a young pre-adolescent and played some of those unhealthy games…intuitively knowing the parents were not to know.

Now, I have lived a lifetime, seen our world grow and become modernized with knowledge piling on knowledge so fast we can barely keep up, and I can tell you – but, then, you already know – life in those faraway days was not so wholesome but not so suffocating as it is today, life managed and accepted more readily.

Today, I see a government warped with minds that would take away our Freedom and Liberty and move toward a world without form or shape, more impersonal, more chaotic, more dangerous, more demanding, a world without Democracy. Governments exist for the people and there are those who are ethically too few to admire and trust, thus worthy proposals for society often go to closed ‘Document Files’.

I look out my large window each day to the sky and go through my litany of thoughts: Where are we going as this gray world of doubt and confusion does its orbits? Is it my old age that makes it seem so? Am I listening to too much news, listening to opinions of people I have little respect for? I think of my children, my grand-children and ask myself: “What kind of world will they be living in years ahead?”

With an old man’s tears beginning, I close the laptop, lower my ‘Lazy Boy’ and take in long breaths of air.

BR Chitwood – 12/27/21

https://www.brchitwood.com

View author’s 20 books (with cover-pics and info).

View the author’s over 375 blog posts, short stories, flash fiction, and poetry.

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