With some shame and omissions, I can honestly say that the mind is a most perplexing combination of stupidity and bright ideas!
“Huh?”
Okay, instead of saying ‘my mind’, I said, ‘the mind’. MY MIND is the perplexing combination of which I write. There are times when I hatch an idea on this laptop and it flows very well for a while until…until the mind is sidetracked with too many different themes coming into play, and they are darn good themes, just mildly disconnected from what I intended for this post.
“So!”
So, I look back over my over 500 post writings and find posts quite similar to the one I’m writing.
“Disconcerting?”
Indeed, because I want to be ‘fresh with what I write.
So, after reading over my 300 or 400 words, I wipe them off, clean and clear of my other posts…but I pushed the wrong button and ended up not only wiping out the post I was writing but the post in front of the one I was writing… Yes, I know, I used ‘I was writing’ twice in a sentence – a mistake because the ’wipe out’ was from exasperation and I went too far back and wiped out two posts… please don’t ask me why and how I could make such a mistake. Suffice it to write, for an ‘old coot’ like myself, I embarrass myself and my wife who reads all my posts and comments, generally always positively to them like a good wife (and writer, herself) should. When she begins her comments negatively, she acts like she’s embarrassed herself.
It’s enough to take an author to ‘drink’!
So, we doubled up that night – meaning we got half-soused on those two ‘hyped-up’ cocktails.
In this post, I wanted to be honest with my readers and let them know it hurts to make this admission…
So, with this post I apologize to readers of my words and their generally wonderful comments. It appears the ‘Writing Gods’ are reminding me of age factors…don’t get me wrong, I can get around rather handily, and it appears that I’m being reminded by some good and wholesome author friends that I should not cease my writing – you know, ‘good for the mind’, ‘good to be active in what you are good at’, and I know they are being kind and generous…some of them have written great reviews of my books – twenty books, in all! Many of my mysteries are fiction taken from actual crime cases.
Now, it would be nice if the readers of this post will join my writer friends and check out my books on my Word Press web site… https://www.brchitwood.com – Just saying!
Some say I should have been a comedian instead of an author.
Many of us hide from the World, fearing we might end up as a newspaper ‘Obit’ headline.
Many novelists become wealthy in their efforts to depict the homicides, robberies, and the ugliness found on our streets and in our homes. ‘Jack, the Ripper’, ‘Preyors of the young and vulnerable’, ‘ The Boston Strangler’, ‘Snake River Murders’, ‘Jeffrey Dahmer’, ‘Ted Bundy’ people who live by robbing and killing their victims, all the while smiling and displaying their innocent smiles…
This ‘epidemic’ did not just get this way. Our world history is over-weight with these ‘thrill-kill seekers’.In Capone’s Chicago’s early days, hoods were lined up against a large garage wall and mowed down with machine guns. Al Capone was something like a ‘folk hero’!
Of course, our police departments, our colleges and universities have courses in Criminology. Our laws, our court systems have tried to initiate new ways of controlling the episodic crime events of our history, new laws, ‘sentence guide-lines’, and what we see historically is that there are ‘up-ticks’ and ‘down-ticks’… but make no mistake, Crime is alive and well in the world. Defunding of the police most certainly has invited more crime and brazen disruption of business in many major cities…and, it can certainly be suggested that the state of our political activities that concern our borders (particularly, our southern border) will see more, not, less crime- i.e., https://www.eurotechsecurity.com/how-crime-and-technology-have-evolved-over-the-last-10-years/Aug 06, 2020 · Crimes recorded in the UK in 2010: 4.58 Million. Latest crime rate recorded in the UK: 6.3 Million. So, as you can see there has been a pretty significant uptick in physical and violent crime when it comes to the UK. Seeing a nearly 2 million crime increase in a little under a decade can seem daunting and in some regards it is.
“Mama’s Madness” was solved some years ago by some excellent police work in Northern California…
This ‘Mama’ was from the loins of Satan, evil in word and deed, the punishments of her daughters were manic and difficult to believe, recorded not here but stark and vivid in the book. This ‘Mama’ murdered two of her three daughters and an ex-husband, robbed and invented tortuous punishments so ugly and vile to mention here – but, there between the pages of the book, the reader will find them. This is a well-written book with many 5-Star Amazon ratings…you don’t want to miss this one!
This one was solved: mother sentenced to a California prison…probably out by now…
“Stranger Abduction” is very close to the Author’s heart because this crime was committed prior to my move to some ranchland in SE Arizona… My new neighbors told me as much as they could know about this mother and daughter disappearance, to wit:
It is a summer Sunday afternoon in rural Cochise Country, AZ near Sunizona, AZ, and a large happy family has just finished Sunday lunch. It is decided that Mom and her pert little 14-year-old daughter will walk three miles to their country store for ice cream and cigarettes for Dad. It is a walk often taken by members of the family – a sister lives along the Hwy. 181 route, affording them the opportunity to stop and visit.
Mother and daughter reach the country store, chat gaily with the owners and other shoppers, then leave for their return walk home, happily smearing ice cream on each other’s faces and kicking gravel along the road… a cheerful Mom and Daughter enjoying their Sunday.
Mom and daughter never make it home on that sunny Sunday in 1983!
They were never heard from again.
*
The sad aftermath of this true case is a family tragedy!
This novel explores the possibilities of what might have happened on that Sunday afternoon so many years ago. As an author in residence some six miles from Route 181 where two people were abducted, having talked to so many of the neighbors, I had to write about this case… It became a ‘must do assignment’ for me, and, I suggest for other writers as well.
PLEASE! If anyone has any information about this ‘Cold Case’, please contact the Sheriff’s Office in Bisbee, Arizona. PLEASE!
All 20 of my novels, 500 blog posts, many Short Stories, Flash Fiction, and Poetry are on the website provided above… Hope you can read and enjoy some of my stories.
“Which side? Which side? What a dumb-ass question… your frontal lobe.”
“Oh, My God! I’m going nuts!”
“Going? You been working on this for some time, dip-shit!”
“Hey, keep it clean!”
“You’re doing the talking, dip-shit!”
“So, I’m going crazy! The ‘Frontal Lobe’ of my brain is talking to me…so, you eavesdrop on everything I think or say. Is that your function? There’s a ‘left’ and a ‘right’ lobe, right? So, what’s your job ‘Lobe-Meister’?”
“Why did I get stuck in your brain? You are a dummy…but, okay, I’m a functionary part of your brain: the ‘left side’ of the lobe controls the right commands; the ‘right side’ controls the left… You’ve never done this before! Why, now? This chat business”?
“’Never done this before’? Hey, Lobe-Meister, this is as new for me as it is for you. It’s not like I requested this meeting…”
“Okay, okay, something is up, and I have to check it out. Are you hurting anywhere?”
“There is a light quaking sound… No pain. Otherwise, I’m sitting here thinking I’m crazy!”
“Don’t take that off the table as a possibility, because I’ve never had this happen before… I will do my ‘due diligence’ and get back to you. For now, go to bed and sleep for hours.”
“Before you go, what’s the difference between the ‘mind’ and the ‘brain’?”
“Huge subject, pardner… The mind can influence the brain, have a ‘mental force’ – check out ‘Neuro Plasticity and The Power of Mental Force’.”
“That’s it? You are leaving me with that? One last thing: Am I going to be hearing from you on a frequent timeline? Do I have a ‘say’ in the matter? If not, please, don’t come at me when I’m making love or out on a date…”
“Sorry, I cannot make any promises…maybe your thought processes will be enough! Bye.”
“Meant to tell you this earlier: your voice sounds really prissy-like…does God include you with every birth?”
“No comment! I said, ‘Good-bye’!”
“Hmmm!”
*
BR Chitwood – May 25, 2022
*
All 20 of my books with synopses, 500 blog posts, short stories, Flash Fiction, Poetry, and Songs can be found at:
No? I knew him, not so well, some forty years ago…he was a habitue, a devotee, of the Phoenix neon night life, searching for parts of himself he lost along a long emotional road from the hills of Appalachia: lost in an abusive and disoriented childhood; lost in a flawed and impetuous marriage; lost in the glittering promise of booze and women. Yes, I knew him, not so well, as he made all his stumbles along the way, losing not only himself but the connections to family and friends, to the people who loved him.
Yes, of course, I’m the man in the photo, and there’s a lot more to the story…hope you’ll read THE CRACKED MIRROR, Reflections of an Appalachian Son, by Billy Ray Chitwood.
In the end, my story must be like so many others, a story of a simple kid who grew up eating emotional soup and spending a lifetime trying to digest it. There are no spectacular or heroic moments. I’ve been in the United States Navy, but I’ve never fought a war—except the one I’ve declared within myself. So I know not the pain of holding a bleeding comrade to my bosom as he or she gasps the final breaths. I know not the anguish of a parent losing a child in an accident, or, in war—unless losing a child to drugs can be comparable. I’ve loved and been in love, but I’ve never stepped far enough from myself to know the true and natural profundity of its happiness and joy. I’ve been born but never died—unless the demon of the past is segmented death. The prospect of dying scares the hell out of me—not so much the prospect itself, but the pitiful legacy that is left behind. I’ve known insecurity and fear, along with self-confidence, loyalty, and pride. There have been the sins, small enough, I hope, to keep me at least somewhere in the thoughts of those I’ve loved. At times I’ve longed for ‘Nepenthe,’ the drug mentioned in ‘The Odyssey’ as a remedy for grief, the potion used by the ancients to induce forgetfulness of pain and sorrow. But, then, without some pain, can the soul truly seek refuge when the long journey is over?
***
The jail cell brought back sobriety and a stark reality. Sitting on a hard dirty ‘bed thing’ in the dimly lit, tiny barred enclosure, the demon thoughts came and possessed me. My world was disintegrating around me! The claustrophobic cell was my coffin of contriteness, a veritable symbol of my languishing life. There again was the ‘dark closet’ feeling within me, an anxious and suffocating hell! Grabbing at the bars I pitifully called out to the jailer, but no one came. Within the limited space I paced, stopped at the ugly stained wall, splayed my body against it, and tapped my forehead against its roughness. The jailer eventually came. He showed me a smile of compassion and told me that morning would come soon; then, I would be arraigned. The fitful night would pass.
***
It is Time that wears down the acts and deeds of man into something forgettable, mundane, heroic, noble, historical, and unforgettable. It is Time that leads us warily toward the greatest secret of all: That which lies beyond the dark veil!
***
“…There are men like you in the world, Prentice, through whatever kind of intervention, divine or otherwise, who must make us cry and laugh, who record for us the stirrings of the soul which we might otherwise never know.”
…
BR Chitwood
Okay, here I am today, no longer chasing those windmills, still trying to figure out this ‘one foot in front of the other’ thing. There are times when it seems I’m pretty close to figuring out this grand production, but those times are little teaser moments to stir something in the soul — sort of like a dreaded visit to a doctor or dentist, getting the car repaired – feels great when you find out the blood pressure is normal (thanks to a little round pill taken each day), the teeth cleaning and exam present no new cavities, and the car now carries no shameful dent.
All in all, living for some years on the rolling bluegrass hills of lovely Kentucky, a good wife, an aging, lovable cat, great daughters and sons, have given me happiness and joy. Back in Arizona the past still gets in my way at times in inscrutable ways, like a misty longing for something valuable I’ve left behind. I’ve never abandoned my faith, though fragile it might be, and there are many more good days than bad,
With all this said, I’m still writing, still searching…guess that only stops when mortal time gives up on me…
BR Chitwood – April 6, 2022
If you like books of mystery, suspense, action, romance, many of which are inspired by true events, please visit my website at https://www.brchitwood.com – after a short bio, just scroll down the ‘home’ page to preview the books and synopses of each.
Nine of the author’s 20 books shown below… Go to https://www.brchitwood – Website with synopses of all 20 books, over 375 blog posts, short stories, poetry, songs, author info, and BUY SITES AT YOUR AMAZON SITE…
Please visit! You will find some good reading with ‘BUY SITES’, book reviews, et al!
BR Chitwood – Author
April 6, 2022
NOTE:
All books below have 5-STAR REVIEWS on AMAZON!
***
If you like books of mystery, suspense, action, romance, many of which are inspired by true events, please visit my website at https://www.brchitwood.com – after a short bio, just scroll down the ‘home’ page to preview the books and synopses of each.
Nine of the author’s 20 books shown above… Go to https://www.brchitwood – Website with synopses of all 20 books, over 375 blog posts, short stories, poetry, songs, author info, and BUY SITES…
Please visit! You will find some good reading with ‘BUY SITES’, book reviews, et al!
My mother was a gentle, generous, and kind woman from a large loving family of four boys and four girls, the matriarch of the brood fervently involved in her Protestant Faith. The father was a quiet, gentle, corpulent man, a railroad foreman for the Louisville and Nashville Railroad Company, a most pleasant person who seldom interfered with the demands of his pious wife who each day offered a loud, long, tearful, prayer to her Father in Heaven, with all present kneeling for her long wailing wishes for blessings and forgiveness of sins committed by her and her brood. Despite the parental toughness of her ways and the seriousness of her moods, she was a kind and gentle person.
Two of the four boys would serve their country in World War Two, one ferrying our brave warriors to the shore at Omaha Beach. The youngest of the brothers was murdered as he was closing down his ‘Filling Station’ late at night in Knoxville, Tennessee. Stanley was his name and a most wonderful Uncle. Uncle Stanley saw me through some difficult times in my early life. I loved this good man and think of him often through all these years.
Uncle Stanley and my mother were so much alike, both holy of heart, soul, and honorable in their daily living…
My Mom was a boarding house cook and a Bell Telephone Operator/Supervisor. Because of economic conditions at the time my mother had to rely on the state of Tennessee and my grandparents for boarding and financial help – it was a necessary procedure for many families at the time.
My most memorable years came when my mother brought my sister and me to live in a lovely home across from a beautiful college where I played tennis with some of the students and attended elementary school. Times got better for our small family. My sister blossomed early and wanted all that went with a pretty face and desirable body…problems, yes, but the family worked through it.
Much of my life was molded from those early days, still given to thoughts of a past with too little good and a lot of ugliness. I served my country, got through college, taught writing to high school seniors, did some acting, commercials and film, married a few times, sired three beautiful kids who constantly amaze me with their goodness, settled at last with a lovely lady who is all a man could possibly want.
Oh, and I have written twenty books, many based on true crimes, mystery and romance, a couple of memoirs, some 375 blog posts, many ‘flash fiction’ pieces, short stories, and poetry.
Okay, had this quiet afternoon of reflection, felt like writing some of it down, and I feel better…and, I just felt like sharing it with people who might be reading my posts.
A better person than I can parse and understandthe confounding natureof our world, how we arrive at a multitude of decisions as a disjointed group of politicians handle affairs of our nation from a position of power, personal goals, anger, and disassociation from a particular item of high importance to the people for whom they represent.
It is my belief that our government handlers are anything but centered to their life-long political biases and hatred for their counter-parts, many so paralyzed by their animosity they would deny their nation responsible representation.
An Appalachian transplant, who am I to have such thoughts?
I saw it at recess on the grounds of my elementary and high schools, in the classrooms, in the halls stalked by bullies… Unlike today, we young people were taught ‘Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic’ so we were spared today’s wide-spread indoctrination of blame, of how and who to hate for society’s slide into racial issues, kept alive and more viable to our youth by an almighty ‘National Association of Teachers Union’.
Okay, sure, we must allow for environmental differences, low IQs, high IQs, parental inability to carefully cultivate and fine-tune tolerance and care for a multitude of beliefs. We are built in our early years and that inculcation en masse make for the world we build.
So, we migrate, spread our selective fine-tuning to other cities, other countries, and the centuries roll on with our human sacrifices, wars, famine, and ultimate destruction and re-building…until!
What?
Our ‘Religions’ speak in different tongues, views that see ‘life and death, heaven, hell’ in totally sharp contrast…
Life goes on.
Death goes on.
Zealots go on.
Will freedom and liberty go on?
Can love conquer all?
Can a ‘Cosmic Wave’ pass over the world, instilling in each of us a predominant theme for living?
Does this ‘Cosmic Wave’ erase all of the frailties of the world?
Does Jesus return to make all things right?
Does another planet in another Solar System come to create a true Eloi?
Are we a ‘Lab Experiment’ that has gone wildly awry?
There is so much good in the world – can it not be an unbreakable bond for humanity?
Why would someone far away from the bomb bursts, flying bullets, and so much human suffering dwell on a Putin-pressed war in Ukraine…for that matter, why so many in the world dwell on this manic and corrupt event?
While pedestrian and immediately naïve, I need to put my words down because it is Sunday… Why, Sunday? A holy day for most of us, a day to dwell on our sins/transgressions, a day to pray for hope, for personal salvation, and for entire World Peace.
Of course, we have enough fret and worry of the ‘Infidel Killers’ and other groups who love to hate and kill.
With’ Putin’s War’, the ‘fret’ becomes more fierce, more difficult to calculate actions and reactions. Much of the world views Putin as a ‘Mad Man’, capable of actions leaders of nobility would never consider. The worst descriptive words for this beast of humanity have been used up by people of the world who follow his atrocities…it is difficult to imagine him long for this world. His sly eyes and demeanor, all that he is, there for the world to see. A reasonable person would assume this cold and distant Satanic collaborator could not be long for this global pool of humanity.
I pretend no great expertise on this Russian dictator and only rely on the years of ‘News Reports’ for this deeds and death tolls, like those being registered in Ukraine today and throughout his tenure in this world. I am just a man, imperfect in many ways with sins I must ultimately account for, sins far below the standards of this leader of a great nation.
So, I’m but an American Patriot who has served his country in our armed services, compelled in this modest monologue mostly by anger and by empathy and sympathy for the savagery being done to a Ukrainian nation of people of simple lives and loving families…
Shall I say, I just needed to vent my emotions and at least convey my humble and best wishes to those good and humble people subjected to this ‘Power and Ego-fed’ dictator.
I pray for the Ukrainian people a quick end to these hostilities and a return to normalcy – if it can ever be so…my heart grieves with yours.
Since my mobile and turbulent childhood my head fills with the events and movements of the days, the emotions that come and stay with me until I write about them from some subliminal heart/mind connection the words flow onto the screen of my laptop. I accept them and allow them entry on the page – as though they were destined to be there, an outlet for the subtle joy and pain of the soul…it is my belief that all artistic endeavors come from that similar sort of tingling.
As some subscribers to my blog posts might allow, most of my writing has a ‘Romantic’ cant, from my murder mysteries (some taken from actual crimes) to genres with historical essence, love, poetry, murder, and current events. My writing heroes of the past are many – …Hemingway, Steinbeck, Crane, DeMille, Grisham, to name a few. For Poetry, my favorite is an ex-Priest named James Kavanaugh.
I have written twenty books, their ‘buy sites’, 375 blog posts written over the years, plus poetry and tribute pieces to Arnold Palmer and other notables. That Website/Blog site address is:
You sleep while riding a ‘mare’ or ‘dreaming peacefully’. You awake in a ‘bad mood’, snack on quick and easy ‘coffee and toast’ (too much coffee!), and drive to your job – while your kidneys insist on your quick attention…
You sit at your desk, work menial tasks and have your fanciful day dreams and ‘Romantic Thoughts’…
You think of where you and your soulmate will vacation… perhaps a great resort in Aruba or an Ocean Cruise…
Work ends for the day, and you go for cocktails at your favorite pub with your favorite lady…
At home, feeling guilty, you open your laptop and resume writing the manuscript for your new novel…
You take a break, check your E-Mail. There is your new blog message: “5-Star Reads in most genres – 20 books, some based on true crime, Short Stories, Flash Fiction – some books are related to true criminal events: https://brchitwood.com – Also, Romance and Suspense…”
Ah, c’mon! Take a ‘tour’! There are some great books and writing at this website…
If you are a reader, avid or not, you will enjoy the books’ synopses, blog posts, short stories, flash fiction, poetry.
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