Man in a Tree
“Stop the car, Lewis!”
“Geez, Alan, not so damned loud. What? What’s wrong?”
“The man in a tree. Didn’t you see him? He’s pretty high up, and there’s no way I can see that he can get down.”
“Well, I am driving and my eyes are on the road, Alan.”
“Yeah, I know, Lewis. Sorry, didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Just wait, the guy could be in trouble. Please, back up and park at the curb. I’ll be right back.”
“But, Alan, we’ll be late for our tee-time… Don’t slam the door! ‘Okay, slam the damned door! Geez, like talking to air, that guy! Back up and park at the curb’. Sure, Alan, anything you say, Alan. You’re the boss, Alan’.”
“Hey, Mister, you alright up there? Do you need some help? How did you get up there? Man, you’re maybe fifteen feet from the ground. There’s no ladder down here. There’s nothing down here … HEY, can’t you hear me? I’m screaming down here.”
“I can hear you fine, young man. What’s your name?”
“My name’s Alan. Can you tell me where you keep the ladder? I’ll get it, and you can come down from up there.”
“No, I’m fine up here, Alan. It’s kind of you to stop and be concerned. People are not so concerned these days. You’re a kind man.”
“What’s your name, may I ask?”
“Sure. My name’s Albert.”
“How did you get up there, Albert?”
“I used my ladder.”
“Well, where did your ladder go, Albert?”
“Ellen took the ladder, Alan.”
“Well, my good Lord, why did she take the ladder away, Albert?”
“Oh, she got mad at me because I wanted to go fishing. We argued a spell, and she told me to go ‘climb a tree’ and that’s what I did. I got the ladder to reach the first limb, then used the other limbs to get higher. It’s actually pretty nice up here.”
“Well, hell, Albert, you can’t stay up there. You’re not a young man. You could get dizzy and fall. I’ll go to your door and get Ellen to show me where the ladder is.”
“No, no, don’t do that, son. She’s a might set in her ways, and I don’t want to cause you no trouble. You seem like a nice young man. Why’d you stop, anyhow?”
“I saw you in the tree, Alan, and you have to admit it’s unusual to see a man your age sitting up there all by yourself. And, you can’t get down without that ladder, Alan. The tree has too much girth for you to be able to shimmy down it. I’ll go to the door and talk to Ellen.”
“I prefer you not do that, Alan. Now you just go on about your business. It looks like you have golf gear on, so go play your round of golf, and don’t fret for a minute about me.”
“Well, I just can’t do that, Albert. I would worry about you all day. Are you…I mean, is your…that is, are you thinking straight, Abert?”
“Oh, I see what you might be thinking, Alan. No, my brain power is still there, I don’t have that ‘Alzheimers-stuff’, but I tell you one thing, it’s sure good to see that people can still try to do the right things for others… Now, listen up, I like my women ‘fat’ and tough as nails. Well, I got one of those in that shingled house over there, and she is one big ‘Wo-man’. If you go to that door, ring the buzzer, she’ll come to the door ‘a-hooten and a-holleren’, and she could be carrying, if you know what I mean… Like, right now, that friend in the car is tooten that horn too much, and that could get her angry…”
“Oh, don’t worry about us, Albert. My worry is about you, I’ve got to get you out of that Sugar Maple before you fall and hurt yourself. I’ll take my chances with Ellen.”
“Well, son, you go ahead and do what you’re thinking and I’m trying my best to tell you truthfully what’s going to happen, and the aftermath of your action.”
“Alan, in these few seconds here with you, I feel really close to you, which makes it all the tougher to leave you sitting up there in that darn tree. I’m off to see Ellen.”
“Well, you have a good heart, son, but I’m telling you – there just ain’t enough room up here for both of us.”
(Tick-Tock)
“Well, she ran that friend of yours off pretty fast, Alan. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Will she be serving us cocktails and dinner up here, Albert?”
A Light Flash Fiction Moment from: Billy Ray Chitwood – October, 2018
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The Author's Mission 
Had to laugh out loud at the ending, Billy Ray.
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So glad you liked it, Good John. Let me know how Bailey is doing. Thanks. ♥
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Still no improvement, Bill Ray. Getting very concerned.
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How old is Bailey? Could it have anything to do with Zig and Lucy being together so much – at least, as it appears from the posts? I doubt it’s that, but the vet can point to nothing specific? Still praying for sweet Bailey… ♥♥♥
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She is nine. No it is a real illiness. Possible tumor on the adrinal gland
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Love hugs and pats for me, please… ♥♥♥
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Thanks, Billy Ray.
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♥♥♥
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