The Light Must Be On

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The Light Must Be On

After all the years it’s still with me,

That fear that clutches in the night

The vulnerable spots of my Soul –

And there must be constant Light.

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There even into the morning’s sunrise

The room which is my only world

A table light must continue its glow

To feed ravenous thoughts unfurled.

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Whence came this awful curse of mind?

What mockery didst I make of Life

To cause thought demons to visit me thus?

To bring such monsters of strife?

*

Was it a childhood devoid of care and love?

A child’s witness to life’s vulgar showing?

The vagaries of unbridled behavior?

The bleak, lonely child’s unknowing?

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Didst come with nature’s random imprint?

This ugly mistake with no remedy?

Whatever its symptoms my life goes on

And I fear that I still wish to be!

 

@Billy Ray Chitwood – April 15, 2018

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Author: Website: http://brchitwood.com - B R Chitwood - My Mission: Writing to Discover Me

I'm a young man in an old man's body, trying to catch up to myself, trying to find pieces of me I left back in a disconnected youth and the early years of manhood. I'm a stereotype of many in my generation who can play the 'blame game', yell 'foul', and 'let's start over'. But, we are what we are, the sum of all the scary kid-emotions we experienced, the gin mills and piano bars that became our sandboxes of pleasure - lotus eaters of the best (or, worst) kind, the love affairs that did not quite settle us down, the sad poetry and songs written in bars and motels along the way... A Dreamer! A Wanderlust! The world needs such fools as we to write our books, our poetry, our songs, to offset the madness that plagues the soul. I've written fourteen books, over three hundred blog posts, in search of those pieces left somewhere in many parts of the globe. You can preview my books on the next page. There's even a Blog page...all my posts are not showing on this recently created blog page, but, if you want to read more, go to my official blog site and check out the archives: http://www.thefinalcurtain1 Writing for me is therapy for the soul. Website: https://billyraychitwood.com

18 thoughts on “The Light Must Be On”

  3. Childhood follows us through life. Its fears, its sorrows haunt us until we make our final peace. Your poem captures this movement within our souls very effectively, Billy Ray. Thank you and blessings to you.

    Liked by 2 people

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  6. We must constantly question, Billy Ray. I think you are the man you’ve become because you ask the hard questions of yourself, regardless if you will ever know the answers.

    Hugs, sweet man,
    eden

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. I really like this poem and can relate to it too. I still sleep with a light on in the bathroom. I cannot sleep in complete darkness. If we have a power failure I wake up. I think this need of mine has something to do with my childhood.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. People say ‘we must not live in the past’! Yet, I find it difficult to shed the impressions, thoughts, and impediments to growth in those long-ago days. You, Dear Robbie, are a soul-mate to this rusty old Twilight dweller… Incidentally, Julie Anne and I visited a few years ago a hamlet just north of London in Buckinghamshire called Chetwode – the beginning of my atavistic pulse! I’m sure you know Buckinghamshire, but I doubt you’ve heard of that little spot along a country road…there’s lovely old church and graveyard & Priory. I shed a tear in the grave yard as I scratched away years of grit off the stone to find a date of an ancestor… ♥♥♥

      Liked by 1 person

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